


Late-Night Logic

by Geonn



Category: Go On (TV)
Genre: Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Gay For You, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-03
Packaged: 2017-12-10 07:47:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geonn/pseuds/Geonn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren can't sleep so she lets her mind wander.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late-Night Logic

_Quiet. Quiet... don't want to disturb him. He's sleeping so peacefully._ She watched his shoulders rise and fall with breath and gently lowered her head back to the pillow. Her hands were folded on top of the covers, and she resumed staring at the ceiling. It hadn't changed in the past half hour. It wasn't fair that Wyatt could just lie down, stretch out, and be asleep in the space of a few breaths. How did he shut down his brain? Didn't he have thoughts and fears and concerns and plans bouncing around every curve of his skull, binding his brain in a web of steel wiring, squeezing and squeezing until it was all he could do not to jump out of bed and start making charts and graphs and filling in her day planner with--

Lauren forced herself to stop. The nighttime brain spiral was awful; it brought out the Yolanda in her. No! God, that was horrible. She reached up and lightly smacked her palm against her forehead three times for even thinking it. She needed to be more like Anne. 

She thought about Anne, picturing her as she'd been in that day's group. Poised, back straight, resting her hands on her knee as Sonia prattled on (no, _shared_... no one prattled on, they shared. God, what was wrong with her?). Anne somehow managed to seem so strong and together even when she was falling apart. She lost her partner, she was raising two kids on her own, and she was maintaining a very stressful career. Most people would barely be able to handle one of those things, let alone all three. But even at her darkest and most helpless, Anne somehow seemed to remain strong. She never let herself wallow. She was like a polar explorer, buffeted by winds and snow but striving ever forward through the storm.

There was something undeniably attractive in Anne. Lauren closed her eyes. Yes, there, she'd said it. Anne was attractive. Not just in a physical way (although yes, that too... the glasses, Lauren thought, were the gateway trait), but in her personality. Abrasive, but confident in who she was... strong, but intelligent enough to know when she needs a helping hand. The qualities she wished were more present in Wyatt, Anne had in spades. And Anne needed her. As much as she loved Wyatt, he'd be okay on his own. Even if Lauren wasn't the best therapist in the world, she helped Anne. She knew she did. So maybe she could help Anne a different way.

But she'd never been with a woman. It would be awkward and weird. Or would it? She'd just praised Anne for being aggressive and strong. Maybe she wouldn't give Lauren a chance to be awkward. Maybe she would just step in, wrap an arm around her waist, bend her backward and... oh, just kiss her. Could she kiss Anne? _I could if she made me..._ And she kind of wanted to know what that would be like. 

She imagined the hallway outside the meeting room. It was dark outside because for some reason - she didn't need backstory in her fantasy - they'd met at night. And Anne pressed her against the wall. Lauren was breathing heavily both in her imagination and in real life, her hands trailing up to toy with the collar of her tank top. She pressed her thighs together and closed her eyes so she could get the full picture, holding her breath as she imagined Anne pressing against her. She could almost hear Anne's sexy, sultry voice soft next to her ear.

"It's been so long since Patty. I just need something, and I need for it not to mean anything..."

She twisted her arms to slip them under the blankets, opening her eyes just wide enough to make sure Wyatt was still asleep. She lifted the waistband of her shorts with one thumb, biting her lip as she slid her hand inside and imagined it was Anne's. She pictured herself trapped against the wall, Anne's body against hers, tilting her head to the side and feeling Anne's bottom lip against hers. Their tongues flickered against each other, and the words "I don't think I should be doing this" turned into a helpless moan that she quietly echoed in real life.

Out loud she would say that she'd never fantasized about a woman, that women had never entered into her sexual fantasies. At the front of her mind she'd even believe that as a true statement. But she had seen porn, and there were times when she wasn't interested in the aggressive and sometimes borderline disturbing aspects of male-female pornography, so she drifted over toward the all-girl movies just so she could have a little romance with her masturbation. She even had her favorites. India, or Michelle, or Tori. She liked the brunettes, but the redheads were also... redheads like Anne...

That was why she knew if Anne started kissing her, Lauren wouldn't be able to stop her. They would end up naked together, and she used her middle two fingers to stroke herself. She breathed through her nose so it would be quieter, still wary of Wyatt's slumbering form. She could almost feel Anne's smooth neck against her lips, almost heard herself whisper, "You can do whatever you want to me."

The fantasy didn't progress beyond Anne pulling up Lauren's shirt and kissing her breasts through her undershirt. The thought of Anne's lips and tongue on her skin, on such a sensitive part of her, made her hand move faster between her legs until she began to move her hips in the first wave of her orgasm. She moved two fingers to her clit, wondered how much better at it Anne would be, and the thought made her back arch and her toes curl. She sagged back to the mattress as she struggled to catch her breath, pulling her hand free from her shorts as Wyatt lifted up to look over his shoulder.

"You okay, babe?"

"Fantastic," she sighed.

"Great!"

She rolled her eyes as he dropped his head back to the pillow. She knew he meant it, which just irritated her further. Who in the world was that chipper when their sleep was disturbed? Sometimes she wanted to deal with someone who was grumpy. Sometimes she wanted to argue. Anne would provide that. She doubted the thought would survive dawn, and she knew that in the morning all her feelings of lightness and well-being would be replaced with guilt over what she had just done, the violation of fantasizing about Anne... Anne, who had put her trust in Lauren and had a right to believe that trust would be kept.

But as she drifted off, it was all she could do not to wish it was Anne in bed next to her instead of Wyatt.


End file.
